


Three's A Crowd

by Stormkeeper



Category: 1980s - Fandom, 80s - Fandom, Boy George (Musician), Culture Club (Band), Jon Moss ( Musician), Marilyn (Musician)
Genre: 1980s, 80s, 80s Music, Angst, Angsty band, Angsty lovers, Bisexual Character, Bisexual Male Character, Bisexuality, Boys In Love, Canon, Canon Bisexual Character, Canon Event, Canon Gay Character, Canon Gay Relationship, Canon Relationships, Culture Club, Forbidden Love, Gay, Gay Character, Gay Male Character, Holidays, Idiots in Love, Jamaica, Jon Moss - Freeform, Love, M/M, Music, Musicians, Third Wheels, True Love, Vacation, angsty love, boy george - Freeform, m/m - Freeform, marilyn - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-22
Updated: 2017-08-22
Packaged: 2018-12-07 21:34:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,313
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11632362
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stormkeeper/pseuds/Stormkeeper
Summary: Based on the story of the holiday to Jamaica.





	Three's A Crowd

"Why can I never get a man?" Sighed Marilyn, "am I that repulsive? I'm attractive, right?"

Jon and George were sat side-by-side on George's old fashioned sofa. After each phrase jam packed with self pity, they silently begged the other to say something. 

"I'm a catch, aren't I?" Marilyn spun round. 

They looked at each other again with strained smiles on their faces. 

"Well?" He exclaimed. 

"Absolutely!" George said before looking straight back at Jon, who was struggling not to laugh. 

"Then why do they keep leaving me?" He huffed and gazed dramatically out of his window like he was in some kind of music video, "well?!" 

"Well you're a little.. unnecessarily dramatic and over the top?" said Jon, scrunching up his face. 

"Excuse me?" Marilyn sharply turned to face them. 

"Well done.." George mumbled, "try and dig yourself out of this one."

"Well.." Jon began. 

"Over the top?!" Marilyn interrupted. 

"I mean.." Jon attempted to speak. 

"How dare you, you short arse prick!" He shouted. 

"Maz!" George shouted back. 

"I am not in the slightest over the top or dramatic!" He screeched before storming out. 

The second he left, the two remaining burst into hysterical laughter. 

"I can't believe you said that." George cackled. 

"Someone had to tell him." Jon shrugged. 

..

An hour or so had passed and Marilyn still hadn't returned but also hadn't left George's flat. George stood up, untangling himself from Jon's embrace. 

"I should probably get him." He said reluctantly while Jon pouted and frowned like a child.

Sure enough, in the other room was a moody looking Marilyn. George knocked on the wall. 

"Go away." He said. 

"Come in the front room with us, mate." George said, awkwardly and hopelessly trying to coax him out of _his_  bedroom. 

"Is that little shit still there?" He asked with immense attitude. 

"Of course." He replied with the same level of arrogance. 

"Then you know where you can shove your suggestion." He said.

"He didn't mean it." George rolled his eyes. 

"Yes, George, he did!" He exclaimed, "you can't make me leave here!"

"Well if you hadn't noticed, this is  _my_ room you're moping around in. Stop being such a bitch and get in there." George's patience was wearing thin. 

Like a child, he followed George into the living room and was confronted with a fluffy and half asleep Jon. Continuing with his petulance, Marilyn sat on the chair furthest away from him. 

"Jon." George nudged him. 

"Ow! What?" Jon rubbed his arm. 

"Apologise!" He whispered. 

Before Jon could protest, he received  _the look_ and knew it would have been a waste of breath. He cleared his throat and sat up. 

"Sorry.." He mumbled. 

George nudged him harder. 

"Sorry." He said clearer. 

Marilyn slowly turned to face him, pouting as he did so with his eyebrows raised.  

"He's apologised!" George stated. 

Marilyn made a disapproving noise. 

"So..how long is it until you go away?" Marilyn folded his arms. 

"A few days." George smiled. 

"It's alright for some," Marilyn groaned, "oh, to be in a relationship and to go on a romantic getaway..sun, sea and sex." 

Jon and George turned to look at each other, slightly horrified but blushed because it was absolutely true. The cogs were turning and George looked pleadingly. Jon frowned but George continued. His face eventually softened and it would seem they were in agreement. 

"So, me and Jon thought it would be a good idea if you came with us?" George said uncomfortably. 

"What, to Jamaica?" Marilyn scoffed. 

"You don't have to obviously." Jon pitched in. 

"I'd love to!" Marilyn sprung up, hugging them both. 

He promptly went home, leaving Jon and George in a daze and sightly regretting their decision. 

..

The final days before their holiday had passed and Marilyn made no effort to disguise his excitement. He burst in bright and early, so early in fact that they hadn't even woken up. He flung open the bedroom door and almost ripped the old, tatty curtains from the wall. 

"Come on!" He shouted. 

Jon and George sighed, incredibly agitated. 

"Go on! Get your hands off each other for five minutes, we've got to go!" 

They rolled over, hesitant to open their eyes. 

"Remind me why we thought this was a good idea?" Jon whispered, refusing to open his eyes. 

"Fuck knows." George replied. 

Much earlier than they intended, they made their way to the airport, fighting their way through crowds of unsuspecting people. Marilyn strolled casually behind Jon and George, trying to get noticed. He exaggerated every flip of his golden extensions and emphasised each and every movement. 

"Can you hurry the fuck up please?" Jon said irritatedly. 

"What's the rush gorgeous?" Marilyn said, running his fingers through his hair for the 46th time.  

"If anyone gets wind of us being here, there won't be a holiday." George whispered angrily. 

Marilyn rolled his eyes and sashayed through the terminal. They boarded their luxury private jet and away they went. 

The tropical air hit them as soon as they stepped out of the plane. Even travelling to their little holiday apartment was pleasurable. As they drove through the towns and villages, the beautiful and soothing sound of reggae music was impossible to ignore as it forced even the most stubborn and reluctant toe-tapper to do just that. More and more people dressed in an array of vibrant, spectacular outfits flocked to the open bars where everyone was dancing and singing. They were almost disappointed when they arrived, craving to join in with the locals. They threw their bags in their rooms, not bothering to unpack. Jon and George pulled up a chair outside - even from their window, there was a clear view of the beach. The sea water was almost transparent with a bright blue glow, almost matching the cloudless sky above them. Unlike at the English coast, the sand was completely stone free and the flawless, emerald green palm trees shaded them from the relentless shine of the beautifully setting sun. Jon's hand slid into George's as they sat in a comfortable silence, taking in their surroundings. To their horror, a bundle of noise came pounding in, disrupting all tranquility. 

"So, what should we do?" Marilyn beamed. 

"We've literally been on a plane for 9-10 hours, we're doing nothing." Jon groaned, getting up to open the tiny fridge. 

"Boring!" He said. 

"Well if you don't like it, go out and explore, but we're staying put thank you very much." Jon slid on his sunglasses and handed George a can. 

After an inaudible murmur, he walked off. 

"This is going to be a nightmare." Jon sighed disappointedly. 

"I'm sorry babe, but he's my friend and he was down and.." George sympathised. 

"He's like a child!" He interrupted, "it's literally like we've taken our annoying child with us."

"I know and I am sorry, but what was I supposed to do?" George half smiled. 

"I know, I know. I was looking forward to it being just us, that's all, but there's nothing we can do about it now." Jon took his hand again. 

"Although, he's not here now." George grinned. 

"And?" Jon raised his eyebrows, puzzled. 

"We might as well make use of the time without our annoying child, mightn't we?" George smirked. 

He began climbing over him and gently pecked his lips. 

A smile crept onto Jon's face. 

"I think we should." He giggled. 

 ..

 The sun flooded into their room, shining an array of colours upon the faces of the two, smiling with content and squeezing each other gently. For a change, they awoke slowly, at their own pace, in the best possible way. Jon woke up properly first. His eyes traced George's face and body. He started with his torso and chest - pale, smooth and his favourite place to rest his head. His gaze moved to his jaw - sharp and defined. Then onto his cheeks - soft and flawless, perfect for him to caress - which he did, a lot. He loved the way his nose stood proudly, beneath his eyes, which were the kind of blue you could get lost in. His eyes were the first thing he fell in love with - they were the first things he saw when they met. He wondered back down to his lips - pink and full, perfect for kissing - another thing he loved to do and did a lot. He brushed them tenderly, almost as if his thumb was a feather, so delicately. The brief touch made George smile. He had the kind of smile that made all the bad things irrelevant or even disappear altogether. Every time he laughed, it made his heart pound and his stomach ache with love. It was a part of himself George hated and Jon never really knew why, because he thought it was wonderful. George's eyes fluttered open, blinking a few times as he adjusted to the brightness. They held each other's stare, neither wanting to let go of such a pure moment, and there really wasn't many of them these days. 

"Oh put some clothes on boys!" Marilyn shouted as he burst in like a bull in a China shop. 

"Haven't you ever heard of knocking?" Jon said sarcastically. 

"Why? I've always wanted to see you in your altogether anyway." He laughed and winked as he gathered their clothes, "oh Jonathan, what tiny undies."

"Can you just get out please?" Jon moaned, "put our stuff down on the way out."

Marilyn shot him a disapproving look as he threw whatever clothes he could find in his face. 

"We're going out. Some of us don't want to stay cooped up in here while it's so bright and warm out there." He said opening their blinds. 

"Here's a wild idea," Jon said sarcastically, "how about you go do whatever sordid and stupid shit you want to do and we'll do literally anything else?"

"Now now Jonny darling," said Marilyn, "I know you want to spend some time with me."

Jon rolled his eyes as George held his arm so he wouldn't make anymore snide remarks. 

..

Reluctantly, Jon and George set off with Marilyn for some agonising bonding day. They ventured deep into a Jamaican market, filled with smiling faces and a good atmosphere. There wasn't two stalls alike. One had a delightful woman selling homemade clothing which immediately interested George and so he wondered off to choose some, leaving Jon alone with his worst nightmare. 

"Isn't this fun?" Marilyn leant in, a bit too close. 

"Amazing." Jon said with zero enthusiasm. 

"Oh come on gorgeous, lighten up." He laughed. 

Jon only made an angry sounding noise in response. 

"For someone so pretty, you really are a bore." Marilyn leant in closer. 

Jon backed away but Marilyn followed, completely ignoring how uncomfortable and disinterested he was. He leant in and licked his earlobe. 

"What the hell are you doing?" Jon shouted in disgust. 

"Oh come on, don't act like you don't want me! Everyone knows I'm better looking than him." He smirked. 

"Believe me mate, I really don't want you. You've certainly got a high opinion of yourself." He scoffed. 

"Everything alright?" George said, returning with twice as many bags as he had previously. 

"Your mate is sick in the head!" Jon exclaimed furiously. 

George cocked his head, slightly concerned. 

"He tried it on with me..again.." Jon said in shame. 

George looked at Marilyn in disbelief. 

"You did what?!" George said ferociously. 

Marilyn said nothing but laughed in such a horrifying way that it sounded like they were in the presence of a jackal. Instead of starting a fight, George linked Jon's arm and they walked back towards the apartment. All chances of a friendly bonding day had firmly gone up in flames. 

..

"How about we go out tonight?" Marilyn asked. 

"Why the fuck would we want to go anywhere with you?" Jon said, stunned. 

"Peace offering?" He smirked. 

Jon scoffed in disgust but George appeared to soften a bit. 

"Oh, don't tell me you're giving in?" Jon cried. 

"Believe me, I'm pissed, really pissed. I mean you're my best friend! We disrupted our entire holiday for you and you repay me by continuously trying it on with _my_ boyfriend?" George screamed. 

"Honey, you're being a tad dramatic." Marilyn rolled his eyes. 

"Dramatic?" George continued to rant, "you tried to cop off with my fucking boyfriend!" 

"But have you seen him? You have to share such talent." 

"Excuse me, I'm not a toy." Jon said. 

"I can't believe you've got no remorse whatsoever!" George laughed in disbelief. 

"Alright! I'm sorry!" Shouted Marilyn. 

No one could quite say anything else, the silence resulting in Jon and George joining Marilyn for dinner. 

..

Jon ran his fingers through his thick, black hair before combing and gelling it back into his signature Jon Moss quiff that never failed to make all who saw him weak at the knees. George, on the other hand, rifled through his bag; he was desperate to find the right lipstick. Both were tense and still slightly seething from earlier events. Neither could find the right outfit to wear. 

Eventually, Jon decided on a pretty, black all-in-one ensemble embellished with sequins and glitter that George had chosen on one shopping trip. As most things were, it was slightly too big. George finally chose an oversized navy shirt with trousers to match, topping the whole outfit off with a new dark purple hat Jon had bought him. 

"Ow!" Jon screamed, "no!"

George spun round in horror. 

"I've broken the eyeliner." He said sadly, pouting and facing George with a huge black smudge on the corner of his eye. 

"Oh babe." George put his hand over his mouth, attempting and failing to cover his laughter. 

"It's not funny!" Jon cried, manically trying to scrub it off. 

"No, no, don't do that! Come here." George laughed. 

George gently removed Jon's catastrophe. 

"When are you doing your hair?" He asked. 

"I did?" Jon replied confused.

"Not very well, evidently." He laughed again, "you're a bit of a mess today, aren't you?"

Jon giggled. It made George smile even wider as the little crinkles by Jon's eyes appeared and he made the precious noise he always did. He smoothed down Jon's hair, ensuring it was up to the usual flawless standard. 

"You look amazing," Jon said, affectionately gazing George up and down. 

"Thanks," he blushed in response, "you don't look so bad yourself."

..

The cab pulled up at a grand, expensive looking building that had tinted glass for walls, a revolving door and a sign that must have single handedly lit up the whole road. Jon and George were utterly speechless as they stepped out with Marilyn enjoying the fact they were so dumbfounded. 

"I'm so glad we're not paying for this," Jon whispered, unable to remove his stare from the restaurant. 

The inside was just as fancy. Waiters and waitresses in spotless uniforms, rich guests at the tables, carpet perfectly clean - even the cutlery was shining. As they were shown to the table, the hunky waiter pulled out their chairs before they sat down. 

"Blimey," said Jon, "where'd you discover this place?"

"Long story," Marilyn replied, "it involves a gorgeous, rich Jamaican and a night of sordid passion."

"Don't tell me anymore!" Jon scrunched his face up in horror. 

The waiter returned; he wore a black creaseless suit with a waistcoat and a bowtie to match - he had a very James Dean look about him. 

Their meals arrived surprisingly quickly and conversation flowed easily. Not a single sarcastic comment had been made by any of the three stars. 

"Have you written that album yet?" Marilyn asked unenthusiastically. 

"Yeah, it's due out later in the year." Jon answered, looking mildly uncomfortable. 

"How delightful," Marilyn said bitterly, "touring?"

"Yep," George said awkwardly, avoiding eye contact. 

"Must be difficult for the pair of you." Marilyn said with a with a mischievous look in his eye. 

"And why would that be?" Jon replied defensively. 

"Well it can't be easy, all that sneaking around," he smirked, "pretending you're staying in separate rooms, keeping it all hush hush, but then again that's probably how you like it."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Jon became increasingly more agitated. 

"It's not like you actually  _want_ people to know you're fucking, do you?" He continued. 

"It's none of your fucking business mate!" He began raising his voice but George tried to hush him. 

"Oh, babe, touched a nerve?" Marilyn smiled smugly. 

"Can we not do this?" George begged. 

"Come on Jon!" Marilyn scoffed, "we all know you're so far in the closet you're coming out the other side!"

Jon started to breathe heavily in fury. 

"Don't look at me like that pretty boy!" He laughed, "we all know that you're so uncomfortable with your sexuality and that you're parents think you're a joke which, funnily enough, describes what your so called relationship is to a T."

Before Marilyn could say anything else, Jon picked up the whole lobster on his plate and threw it directly in his face. 

Marilyn screamed in horror, silencing the whole restaurant, who immediately turned to view the commotion. The fishy sauce dripped onto his sequinned top and his formally bleach blonde extensions began turning pink. Marilyn and George stared stunned and open mouthed at the mess - even Jon couldn't quite believe what he'd done.

"You fucking arsehole!" Marilyn shrieked as he stood up in tears and stormed out, leaving a trail behind him. 

George burst out laughing. 

"I can't believe you did that!" Cried George. 

"Neither can I to be quite honest," Jon giggled. 

"Thanks by the way." George moved a little closer. 

"For what?" Jon cocked his head. 

"For sticking up for us" he said softly. 

Jon smiled weakly as he looked down. 

"And for the record, you're not a joke and neither are we, you know that right?" George put his hand on Jon's leg.

"I should probably go after him." He said reluctantly, avoiding George's eyes.  

..

"Oh piss off!" Marilyn snapped as he attempted to wipe the prawn sauce from his face. 

"It's alright, you can put your claws away, I've actually come to apologise." Jon held his hands up. 

"Lucky old me, I'm in the presence of a saint!" He shouted. 

Jon rolled his eyes, struggling to hold back the barrage of sarcastic comments he had lined up. 

"Look, I'm sorry alright?" Jon held his hand out slightly hesitantly. 

Marilyn scoffed and sashayed away, leaving a trail of sauce as he did so. Jon couldn't help but giggle with a minute feeling of pride.

..

The remainder of the holiday was tense, but Marilyn finally kept out of Jon's way. 

"I am so glad we're going home!" George beamed. 

"So am I!" Jon laughed, "I don't think I've ever packed so quickly in my life!"

The flight was equally as awkward as the end of the break, mainly due to Marilyn refusing to utter a single word to either of them. When they landed, he took off without them in a huff with nothing to say, he didn't even look at them - which secretly pleased Jon. 

They'd arrived back, fully unpacked. The night had rolled in once again and they were finally alone, for the first time in what felt like an eternity. The same tatty curtains were perfectly drawn to shut out the light from the blinding street lamps outside. 

"Well that was fun." George said unenthusiastically.

"Let's make one thing perfectly clear," Jon began, "we are never, and I mean EVER taking him on holiday again, alright?"

"Agreed," George chuckled, "it's true what they say, isn't it?"

"And what's that?" Jon turned to face him. 

"Three really is a crowd!" He bellowed. 

They both giggled and George tenderly kissed Jon's forehead before he snuggled up, resting his head delicately on George's chest as they softly drifted off with the horror of Jamaica securely behind them. 


End file.
